I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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