I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
