you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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