i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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