Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Quick, to the slutcave!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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