I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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