I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
