We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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