In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
