I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
