I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
