She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
