Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
