Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
