I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
