Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
