there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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