it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
