absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
