The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize