I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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