I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
