I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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