i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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