You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
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When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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