Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

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  (925): If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/0bns
  Replies (22) Good night (3078) Bad night (835)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants

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  (317): i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants http://tfl.nu/qswz
  Replies (13) Good night (1051) Bad night (2640)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks

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  (320): Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks http://tfl.nu/7398
  Replies (64) Good night (1483) Bad night (6510)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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  (928): I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?" http://tfl.nu/rf85
  Replies (32) Good night (8113) Bad night (1774)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..

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  (412): you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby.. http://tfl.nu/7gz9
  Replies (10) Good night (3543) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.

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  (804): I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success. http://tfl.nu/kq4s
  Replies (8) Good night (3177) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"

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  (908): I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!" http://tfl.nu/rdw8
  Replies (9) Good night (1400) Bad night (3030)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors

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  (250): We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors http://tfl.nu/t3jz
  Replies (11) Good night (5265) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  lets go back to having secrets in our friendship

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  (651): raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win (608): lets go back to having secrets in our friendship http://tfl.nu/pq7s
  Replies (6) Good night (3187) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

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  (770): you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why. (678): THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/cex4
  Replies (18) Good night (3077) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams

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  (774): This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams http://tfl.nu/o9iv
  Replies (5) Good night (1298) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.

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  (256): IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS. http://tfl.nu/wp8w
  Replies (0) Good night (967) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (+86): View more from China

  Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.

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  (+86): Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs. http://tfl.nu/vpgv
  Replies (4) Good night (685) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.

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  (518): He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard. http://tfl.nu/suwu
  Replies (6) Good night (404) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE

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  (850): ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE http://tfl.nu/47vt
  Replies (4) Good night (667) Bad night (277)

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