He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.