Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink

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  (410): when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink http://tfl.nu/mfes
  Replies (14) Good night (1309) Bad night (4155)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.

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  (713): I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke. http://tfl.nu/gwfs
  Replies (14) Good night (5204) Bad night (841)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.

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  (845): Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka. http://tfl.nu/zb0y
  Replies (10) Good night (5948) Bad night (873)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.

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  (908): I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter. http://tfl.nu/8xy5
  Replies (4) Good night (3317) Bad night (1228)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick

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  (850): that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick http://tfl.nu/ww0j
  Replies (11) Good night (4024) Bad night (831)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?

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  (865): Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right? http://tfl.nu/ddd7
  Replies (10) Good night (1231) Bad night (2318)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.

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  (318): They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it. http://tfl.nu/p3lc
  Replies (8) Good night (3288) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

  (312): View more from Illinois

  And maybe a life coach?

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  (303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher (312): And maybe a life coach? http://tfl.nu/dluc
  Replies (2) Good night (2238) Bad night (755)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.

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  (270): Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together. http://tfl.nu/2jfm
  Replies (7) Good night (2360) Bad night (772)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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  (847): I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never. http://tfl.nu/n83d
  Replies (14) Good night (1910) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina

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  (970): Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina http://tfl.nu/uvty
  Replies (5) Good night (488) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game

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  (619): Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game http://tfl.nu/kw14
  Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.

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  (402): No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn. http://tfl.nu/c09n
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy

  (813): View more from Florida

  HE'S NOT INVITED!!!

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  (727): The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy (813): HE'S NOT INVITED!!! http://tfl.nu/3870
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point

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  (408): What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point http://tfl.nu/9b7m
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (326)

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