Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook

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  (517): i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook http://tfl.nu/5f2q
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (872)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...

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  (404): I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl... http://tfl.nu/69tn
  Replies (29) Good night (3133) Bad night (581)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon

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  (910): So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon http://tfl.nu/hgw1
  Replies (17) Good night (4109) Bad night (1137)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We tried having a conversation with our noses.

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  (856): We tried having a conversation with our noses. http://tfl.nu/by13
  Replies (9) Good night (2751) Bad night (826)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."

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  (918): at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes." http://tfl.nu/aef0
  Replies (11) Good night (644) Bad night (3006)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob

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  (330): My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob http://tfl.nu/j762
  Replies (19) Good night (4568) Bad night (1364)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar

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  (401): So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar http://tfl.nu/20ke
  Replies (6) Good night (2408) Bad night (855)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...

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  (435): Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters... http://tfl.nu/orhj
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (2629)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

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  (647): we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana. http://tfl.nu/zk8n
  Replies (6) Good night (2980) Bad night (685)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!

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  (701): Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice! http://tfl.nu/fa1l
  Replies (7) Good night (3198) Bad night (601)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

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  (573): He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady. http://tfl.nu/txg0
  Replies (6) Good night (2501) Bad night (538)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.

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  (260): The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible. http://tfl.nu/nj7i
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (750)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

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  (813): I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan http://tfl.nu/4qu1
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (430)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"

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  (201): Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class" http://tfl.nu/e4eb
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (465)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.

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  (970): Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby. http://tfl.nu/d4tv
  Replies (2) Good night (1236) Bad night (436)

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