The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms