Where is the hickey?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.