gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize