I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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