how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
