I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
