dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
