last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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