At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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