Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
