yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize