sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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