i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We left the knife in your bed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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