i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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