what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
my poor anus
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize