Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
