Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
