We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
