Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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