Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
