Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.

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  (570): Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome. http://tfl.nu/qugg
  Replies (33) Good night (1775) Bad night (2973)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I seem to have left my pride at pride

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  (516): I seem to have left my pride at pride http://tfl.nu/xiz2
  Replies (17) Good night (2103) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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  (215): she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel http://tfl.nu/yxdc
  Replies (16) Good night (534) Bad night (4003)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans

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  (502): Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans http://tfl.nu/uc1m
  Replies (12) Good night (6366) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.

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  (419): We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun. http://tfl.nu/fiqf
  Replies (10) Good night (4351) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now

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  (617): So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now http://tfl.nu/xd86
  Replies (3) Good night (2023) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?

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  (970): Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right? http://tfl.nu/vtmk
  Replies (7) Good night (2171) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?

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  (708): what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in? http://tfl.nu/gh3z
  Replies (19) Good night (1139) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.

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  (251): I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either. http://tfl.nu/mrji
  Replies (6) Good night (1259) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?

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  (909): When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too? http://tfl.nu/ln8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1321) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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  (913): "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3cka
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway

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  (803): Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway http://tfl.nu/xe68
  Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"

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  (415): I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!" http://tfl.nu/tw69
  Replies (1) Good night (898) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"

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  (310): I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine" http://tfl.nu/hod3
  Replies (7) Good night (747) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.

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  (831): Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me. http://tfl.nu/ne9s
  Replies (4) Good night (512) Bad night (172)

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