Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

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  (647): Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom http://tfl.nu/rkiv
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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  (251): i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once http://tfl.nu/k6sm
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  yea

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  turns out that you did...and i just found it.

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  (856): You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel? (856): yea (1-856): turns out that you did...and i just found it. http://tfl.nu/lurm
  Replies (57) Good night (640) Bad night (8224)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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  (724): I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8v08
  Replies (16) Good night (5317) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.

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  (403): his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly. http://tfl.nu/boxe
  Replies (7) Good night (4009) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment

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  (916): It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment http://tfl.nu/y1ii
  Replies (15) Good night (921) Bad night (3309) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting

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  (719): We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting http://tfl.nu/vcgc
  Replies (6) Good night (4704) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.

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  (217): I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart. http://tfl.nu/psm5
  Replies (6) Good night (2014) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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  (713): His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life. http://tfl.nu/34re
  Replies (12) Good night (3506) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  SMART GIRL

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  (978): there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's (1-978): SMART GIRL http://tfl.nu/njon
  Replies (2) Good night (1671) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".

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  (604): You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him". http://tfl.nu/d338
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."

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  (303): I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions." http://tfl.nu/0cl8
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

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  (817): Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window." http://tfl.nu/43ug
  Replies (10) Good night (1811) Bad night (297)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.

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  (865): My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy. http://tfl.nu/ige6
  Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (239)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with

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  (425): My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with http://tfl.nu/lkbr
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt

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