Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  ... oops

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  (217): I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity? (847): haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that. (217): ... oops http://tfl.nu/gsy7
  Replies (4) Good night (1302) Bad night (597)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude, I just rear-ended a cab

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Are you drunk?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  A little...yes

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Run!

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Terrible brother advice.

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  (770): Dude, I just rear-ended a cab (404): Are you drunk? (770): A little...yes (404): Run! (770): Terrible brother advice. http://tfl.nu/gq63
  Replies (4) Good night (1066) Bad night (1339)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him

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  (434): he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him http://tfl.nu/rnup
  Replies (63) Good night (1580) Bad night (3816)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.

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  (405): I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation. http://tfl.nu/os3u
  Replies (13) Good night (4618) Bad night (1295)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo

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  (717): i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo http://tfl.nu/9iyh
  Replies (5) Good night (879) Bad night (3255)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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  (847): Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess http://tfl.nu/s4vr
  Replies (7) Good night (960) Bad night (3900)
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  (607): View more from New York

  since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.

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  (607): since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket. http://tfl.nu/tn78
  Replies (48) Good night (4868) Bad night (1126)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

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  (618): she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing. http://tfl.nu/tedj
  Replies (9) Good night (980) Bad night (2827)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.

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  (915): everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself. http://tfl.nu/tl80
  Replies (8) Good night (2159) Bad night (1152)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ps I am

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  (440): Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now (440): Ps I am http://tfl.nu/ow38
  Replies (8) Good night (2303) Bad night (641)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.

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  (713): Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you. http://tfl.nu/5z0x
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.

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  (707): Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend. http://tfl.nu/wf6o
  Replies (6) Good night (1141) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.

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  (630): dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times. http://tfl.nu/etvm
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?

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  (415): Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do? http://tfl.nu/y25e
  Replies (4) Good night (280) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."

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  (508): he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola." http://tfl.nu/spva
  Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (197)

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