i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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