we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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