Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload. (1-256): That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man. http://tfl.nu/ruio
  Replies (41) Good night (2845) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (866) Bad night (6919)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass. http://tfl.nu/l3hc
  Replies (17) Good night (870) Bad night (4904)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses. http://tfl.nu/xdpj
  Replies (23) Good night (5215) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone. http://tfl.nu/g122
  Replies (24) Good night (9205) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp
  Replies (9) Good night (2582) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number http://tfl.nu/syte
  Replies (14) Good night (3094) Bad night (1417)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (819): The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons. http://tfl.nu/84qu
  Replies (6) Good night (2010) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed. http://tfl.nu/63hq
  Replies (3) Good night (1570) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end. http://tfl.nu/cc0x
  Replies (4) Good night (1356) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable. http://tfl.nu/3t8y
  Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs. http://tfl.nu/0efw
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro. http://tfl.nu/ilnn
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating??? http://tfl.nu/mgec
  Replies (10) Good night (287) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED http://tfl.nu/9rap
  Replies (3) Good night (174) Bad night (419)

Randomize