I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
