she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup