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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...

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• (206): View more from Washington

  he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no pressure.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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• (435): View more from Utah

  For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me

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• (818): View more from California

  I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Stalker pic that shit

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  "YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple 

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.

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