So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?