You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
