So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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