The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i love accidental penises.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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