i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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