Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I didn't shave. On purpose
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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