To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
