Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
