break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
