i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize