just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
