so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
