But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
