And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
