i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i dont even know how to be here
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
