just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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