I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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