I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
