Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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